*Excuse this post as I take a departure from the usual yoga and spiritual gaiety to tackle another type of gaiety.
Having to explain myself to people has become a constant thing since coming out. For the most part, it’s been easy. I have a great family, a fantastic group of friends, and amazing co-workers, all who accept me for who I am and who don’t even regard my sexuality as anything different from their own. But, the reality is, there are people out there who don’t agree and who constantly force me to be on the defense.
And let me remind everyone, I am under no obligation to do so. Why is it that because I love differently than you that I have to defend that love? And, when it gets down to it, I actually don’t love differently. I love the same—wholeheartedly, without judgment. I’d like to think that is how you approach love. The only thing different is biology, but we’re all biologically unique, so once again, that difference is non-existent and only a figment of your imagination.
Many people who don’t identify as queer and who place themselves above me and other LGBTQ folks have a tendency to think they know better than us. There are straight men who think what we do in the bedroom is hot, but ultimately believe we just haven’t met the right guy yet (aka, they think they are the right guy), and there are devout, close-minded Christians who backhandedly say they accept who I am while telling me everyone can ask for forgiveness at any time and ultimately God will make the final judgment.
There are lots of things wrong with these situations. First of all, I’ve lost track of how many times guys have hit on me and once I tell them I am not interested in men, they say with a cocked-up chin, “I respect that.” On the surface, it may seem there is nothing wrong with this sentiment. However, when you are gay and you have straight men, and even some straight women, say they “respect” your “choice,” you naturally begin to feel disrespected. Did I ask for your respect or your permission? No. And I don’t respect your heterosexuality because I would never even think to disrespect something as silly and simple as who you love. It’s like telling someone you respect their brown hair or their fair skin or their Italian heritage. We are who we are and it just is what it is.